Depends
As my parents aged, they needed to transition to adult underwear/adult diapers, 'Depends' whatever you want to call them it doesn't make the process any easier ~ on them or me.
Depends... The only thing stronger than us is you. What a statement and my mom put that statement to the test.
Let's start at the beginning ~ the transition phase. I placed the Depends in mom's underwear drawer next to her underwear with instructions ~ put on your Depends first, then if you want you can place your underwear over top. Mom would either just wear her underwear or place the Depends over the top of her underwear. With mom being in the early stages of dementia, instructions weren't retained so, she rarely did she put her Depends on first. She told me they were a girdle (aka Spanx's) and said she didn't need them. Then it was the color - white ~ Uck! They look like diapers. Not a word any parent wants to hear when it is related to them.
I also placed some said Depends in mom's bathroom, in case she had an accident, she could grab one from in the cabinet. Good thought and in a roundabout way it almost worked. Yes, mom did have an accident and yes mom did reach for a Depends out of the cabinet, no mom did not put the Depends on. Remember the statement... Depends... The only thing stronger than us is you. You could see that mom worked very hard at tearing up two Depends in an effort to clean up her mess. That didn't go quite as planned. 😕
The words of Depends wisdom from mom's nurse put me on the right path ~ buy pretty colored Depends and remove all of your mom's regular underpants from her drawer. This way she has no choice but to wear the Depends and not feel like she is wearing a diaper.
Those words of wisdom did not end my Depends dilemma, they just changed the challenge. Two particular instances come to mind:
Mom loved her chocolate, and I kept a small candy jar with chocolates for her. One day I noticed a chocolate stain on mom's couch. I removed the cover, treated the stain and washed it. As Mom and I entered her apartment, she noticed the cushion cover was missing and inquired about it. Being the optimistic person I am, I responded by telling her I noticed a chocolate stain on her cushion cover and was washing it. To which she responded... 'How do you know it's wasn’t shit.' I was speechless. Mom's choice of words didn't surprise, quite the contrary, I just literally didn't know what to say ~ how can you argue with what she's saying.
The second incident occurred at the hairdressers. Before going we did all our usual prep to no avail. Once mom's hair was nicely styled and she was ready to show it off, I transferred her from the stylist chair to her wheelchair. That's when I noticed a puddle in the chair. The stylist assured me that it happens often, no worries. Yet I felt bad and was embarrassed or at least thought I did. When mom saw the pee-pee puddle she looked at me and, in all sincerity, said... 'Well, I guess you just can't depend on them Depends.' I'm not sure which emotion was winning, embarrassment or controlling my laughter. Needless to say, the design of the X-large Depends (to go around mom's belly area) isn't the best for moms with no butt and skinny legs 😂
Depends... The only thing stronger than us is you. Now I realize this statement wasn't intended for my mom, it was intended for me! 😊
Peace & Love