Holidays Without Loved Ones
November 2018 through December 2021 was an un-health, hospitals, and Hospice blur because that is the timeframe for which my dad, mom and brother went to heave without me. In 2022 I was still in the blur, grieving and trying to figure out how to put one foot in front of the other. In 2023 I still feel empty inside ~ I’m not feelin’ the holiday spirit. So, with loved ones in heaven how do you get through the holidays?
I don’t want to just lock myself in my house, yet I don’t have that holiday spirit feeling. Not to mention we have so many cliches that we say without thought and without really listening to the answers. So, this year I’m trying a few things to see how they help me get through the holidays. t’s common for folks to ask…
Are you ready for the holidays? Yes or sorta ~ because my holiday preparation has nothing to do with decorations but getting my emotions in check for the unintentional, courteous holiday questions that will be asked. I do miss not having my family to share in the festivities.
Will you be spending the holidays with your family? Yes I will ~ My family is in my heart and I have abundance of memories. The question still sends a ping through my heart 💔
Do they live here… yes, they do. ~ in my heart and memories.
Decorating is a tough one because my mom and I are (were) both crafty folks and each year we would get together to make holiday ornaments and decorations ~ needless to say, I have more than my fair share of holiday items and no one to hand them down to.
I went through my boxes, picking out the treasures I couldn’t part with. I knew I would be adding them to my newly acquired treasures to hopefully create a blended holiday spirit.
I mentioned to my newly married friend that I had an abundance of holiday ornaments and decorations if they were interested, they answered yes ~ boy was my heart filled with joy. It was like mom was in my ear, remember when… as they made their selections. Sometimes they asked me the story behind the item they selected and that’s when mom’s voice was coming through my mouth, I couldn’t have been happier.
While going through the ornaments and decorations I kept thinking… who would enjoy this, who would appreciate this, then I set the items aside to use as place setting at the table and the person could take it home with them. This process made me smile as well as the recipient.
Since I don’t have the spirit to decorate a tree, I have asked guests (who knew my family) to bring something-anything to help decorate my small tree. I am hoping that as we walk through the holiday season my tree will get decorated and folks will have a story about the item, they brought ~ creating interesting conversations.
Cocktail time was a special time in our family. As kids’ mom and dad would have a cocktail and make a mock-cocktail for my brother and me. Except for the mock-cocktail, this was tradition carried on. So, with that in mind, I am having cocktails with friends on December 15th ~ the last day I got to spend with my little brother. I’m trying to start a new tradition by having a drink themed cocktail party ~ nothing fancy, just a couple different types of drinks within a theme, I’m starting with candy cane. Candy cane martini, peppermint mimosas, candy cane bourbon eggnog. Hopefully we’ll have as much fun making the cocktails as enjoying them.
I’m hoping that when the conversations die down, my guests begin to leave and my head hits the pillow, I’ll share the events of my evening cocktail themed party with my family in my dreams😊
Peace and Love